Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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