i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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