around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
