is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
