I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
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just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
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It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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