You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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