I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
