Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
