I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
