i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
