end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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