I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
