How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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