Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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