You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Soap is not a condiment
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
