hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Drunk is not a location!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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