Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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