you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
