Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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