just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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