Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
