Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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