i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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