cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
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Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
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Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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