We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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