My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize