We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
