I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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