I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
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I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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