So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
