I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
