i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm like, not good at living.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
