My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
