Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
