he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
