I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
