Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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