Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We talked him into tasing himself.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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