I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
