'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
