the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize