nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
