Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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