who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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