perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
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I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
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I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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