Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
