I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
