I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize