Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
