You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
