Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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