It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
