Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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