Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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