My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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