I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
