You work out of a Hotel?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
