whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
